I have come to the sad conclusion that I have a glove problem. So far as problems go it could be a lot worse. I could have a hidden yet persistant hole in my shoe, or a scary dog stalker but instead I lose gloves. All the time. It is now barely into the Northern Hemisphere Winter and I have already lost two pair of gloves and the third are exuding a suspicious truclence from their bag.
Culprits
There are many potential culprits or sources of blame for the bind I find myself in and while I could chose to blame myself for being an absent minded jerk, it would be much better if I could find some sort of scapegoat. This would give me something to focus my rage upon, rather than the more unpleasant introspection required about the true source of the problem.
The scapegoat has already been identifed as being some sort of hairy monster that can only breed via accumulation of more gloves. The Glove Monster, while being a solitary creature isn't particulary evil or ill tempered, it just has its own needs and these needs revolve entirely around gloves. Depending on time of year and desire for camoflage the Glove Monster will make special effort for thick woolen or dark leather gloves. Which unfortunately are exactly the kinds I alternate upon.
Solutions
1. Sausage like fingers, that have natural insulation
2. Mittens that are attached to my jacket, or tied around my neck
3. Manning up and not wearing gloves
4. Moving somewhere warm all year around
5. Investing in a house with an internal garage, a car with a working heater and chosing only to travel to places with similar facilities.
6. Write a diary of loss and hope one day to be reunited with my gloves
7. Form some sort of partnership with the Glove Monster
